my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ladies don't puke and tell
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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