Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
