So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
