How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
