Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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