But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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