Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
