We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
