Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
