It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
