do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
