Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
