I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
wakey wakey hands off snakey
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
