Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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