1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
