so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
