doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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