You're completely useless in the revolution.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
