I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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