We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
