I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
