No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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