i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
