If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
