We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize