Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
