I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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