so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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