brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
