i think i have herpe
just one?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
