I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize