CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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