Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
