I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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