Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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