Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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