I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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