Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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