I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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