So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
