Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
