You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Alive.
So much puke
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
