and you said cock pushups were impossible
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
