I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
