margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
