i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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