its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
