I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
