Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize