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I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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