he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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