i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize