WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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