sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
