i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize