Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
