update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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