he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
