You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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