Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
